What Have I Done to Deserve This?

Do you sometimes find yourself asking, “What have I done to deserve this?” While we all have troubles in our marriage and none are perfect, why did it have to result in adultery? What I want to share with you today is that just because you find yourself in trouble doesn’t mean it’s your fault. I’m not suggesting that I had no role in the failures of my own marriage. However, I didn’t choose to have an affair. My wife’s actions took our troubles to a whole new level of pain.

King David Asked The Same Question

I’ve been reading about the life of King David starting in the book of 1st Samuel in the Bible. The first part of David’s life before he became King of Israel centers on his trials and troubles with King Saul. Saul fell out of favor with God because of his disobedience.  He became very jealous of David, knowing he was a threat to his position as king. What I want to focus on is the fact that David’s trials and troubles at the hand of King Saul were not his fault. After Saul tries to kill David, he says to his friend, Jonathan, “What have I done?” (1 Sam 20:1). Do your own shortcomings deserve the death of your marriage? No, they don’t.

David fled to the town of Naioth but Saul pursued him with the intent to kill him.  Yet an amazing thing happened on Saul’s trip. “But on the way to Naioth in Ramah the Spirit of God came even upon Saul…” (1 Sam 19:23). God intervened and sent His Spirit upon Saul. It changed him in that moment and all he could do was to fall upon the ground in total surrender to God. It changed his heart. While the change was not permanent, it was a powerful reminder that God was protecting David.

Ask God’s Spirit to Change Your Spouse

God’s spirit is all-powerful.  It is working where we can’t to change hearts and circumstances. Are you praying that for your wayward spouse?  David was always protected by God even in the trials that weren’t his fault. David didn’t blame God for these circumstances with Saul. He often questioned those circumstances and definitely cried out to God (just read through the Psalms and those prayers where David poured out his heart to God).

My prayer for you today is that you will know God’s peace through this difficult time.  Know that He is watching over you. At any moment, His Spirit is capable of reaching your spouse and changing their heart. Don’t give up and don’t lose hope.  There are no limits to God’s ability to change your spouse and rebuild your marriage.

-Martyn Peters

One thought on “What Have I Done to Deserve This?

  1. So true! The first Sunday after beginning counselling and our respective recovery programs, I invited my husband who was not a Christian to attend church with me. A team from Teen Challenge (a Christian addictions program) was doing the service that morning and I knew from other times how powerful their ministry team was. The next Sunday, uninvited, my husband got out of bed and when I asked him what he was doing, he said coming to church with me. And he began attending with me every week thereafter. Two months later, he gave his heart to Jesus. During that two months, our shared counsellor, who was also the leader of his recovery support group, asked me in one of my sessions how it felt to be watching the process of my husband becoming a Christian. We both saw the heart changes occurring. So, yes indeed, there are no limits to God’s ability to transform a heart and rebuild a marriage!


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